Back

Well, I'm back for a little bit. I got my laptop and preparing for college is very draining. It seems like there is always something more for me to do, and it's not helping me be anymore prepared. It's kind of scary. This is where it begins. Either you fly or die. I think that's the advantage I have. I don't like to fail. If it looks like I'm getting ready to fail, I go to extreme lengths to get away from that which seems is trying to bring me down. But while getting ready for anything important, you also have to be able to have fun. So I've been doing my best to have my share of fun. Recently I went to my friend Heather's house for a get together. It was to celebrate her coming birthday and to see each other one last time before we all go our seperate ways.

My friendship with Heather is a strange one for me. I've always kept people at a relatively far distance. Enough to kind of get to know me on a superficial level. Heather is the only person I've met that has stormed past whatever superficial barriers I put in front of her. She does a lot of the same things with the people around her, so a quick and deep friendship developed with ease. Well Heather has a boyfriend. She never really had a relationship before him. She claims to one, but from what I've pieced together, that one was the guy she is currently dating, but for a short time. But as the case with most teenage couples, that sexual tension was there, and I've had the feeling that there was going to be something going on there pretty quickly. I'm not saying I know what she has done, nor is it my place to judge. Thank God! Anyways, she was talking to her girlfriends about whatever activity it was that she had engaged in for a good long time. Later when the girls came up to join Michael and me (the only guys there), they wanted to continue this discussion, but Heather wasn't comfortable with me in the room. So I left the room to go play solitaire. It's no skin off my back. Anyways, Heather follows me to the other room. We go into this discussion about our activites. Not deep detail, granted there aren't many true stories nor many details about I could go into about what I've done. Anyways, that question came to me. "Have you ever had sex?" Nope, if it ends in the word sex, I haven't done it.

Why is this a shock to some? My lord says that premarital sex is wrong. I want to follow my Lord's path. If he can live his whole life without the touch of a girl, then I think I can wait for the girl that is right for me. The one that I don't mind going out and giving my life savings and a loan just to buy her the ring she deserves. The one I've waited, and will wait, my whole life for. I have faith that this plan of his will take me down the right path. It's just a little scary, especially when control of our lives seems to be in everyone else's control but our own. Anways, sorry about the journal/editorial entry. I promise that I'll try to give other my other writings a less preacher tone. Take care and god bless to whoever reads this.