Thursday, July 08, 2004

Well, one more off my chest

"And Jesus Wept"
Book of John, Chapter 11

I've known about this verse in the bible my whole life. My father mentioned it to me when I was a mocoso (spanish for little kid). He told me that it was the shortest verse in the bible, and that we has Christians like we do with all religion, interpret it many ways. My dad's interpretation of it was simple. The fact that it was short means that those 3 words together were meant to stand out the most. The fact that Jesus wept was just an amazing thing.

Recently this verse in the bible was brought forth to my attention again thanks to the movie "Barbershop 2." He was first mentioned when the owner of the Barbershop, Calvin, was starting to eat a biscuit and his old nanny came in and said, "Don't forget to say grace." He responds "And Jesus Wept" and she ask "Why did he weep?" and Calvin had no response to this. Later you learn that Jesus was moved to tears because of witnessing the sorrow that Mary and Martha had upon the death of Lazarus.

This intrigued me to open my bible and look for the verse and read it in context of the whole chapter, and just like it was stated in the movie, Jesus wept because of the sorrow he felt for Martha and Mary. This brought back my memory of why I want to be a doctor.

For my whole life, I wanted to be successful, I.E. I wanted to have lots of money for little work. I use to see doctors all the time. I use to go to their nice houses for Christmas parties with my parents. I saw how they had more then they could ever want, so I decided I wanted to be an anesthiologist, easy work, measure out the drug and sit back and watch. But that plan didn't stick. There was one person who had so much of an impact in my life that I was moved to tears and I'm not completely sure as to why. I don't know his name, I'm sure I could find out his name, but I don't want to know, I'll learn it when it is right, for now he is just "THE GUY."

My brother was at the University of North Texas and we (my family and I) went to visit him over a weekend. We went to "church" with him, which was basically a meeting in a little extra room in one of the dorms, nothing special. But at the end of the mass, there was time for the announcements like always, but at the college they let the students come up and say what there is. Well enter THE GUY, he was a guy who was paralyzed drastically. Only means of moving around was his chair/scooter and he had a dog that helped with everything he needed, like many people who are handicapped have dogs that help with daily task. I heard my parents ask about him, apparently he was extremely smart, I think he had something close to 4 doctorate degrees, I'm not completely sure on this fact. But anyways he started talking about this fundraiser that was going to happen at the college to help handicapped people and how he hoped some of the people would volunteer to help. But something in his voice caught me off guard, I could hear the pain that he had, not for him self at living this life that people would consider disadvantaged, but for the people that believed this lie themselves. I heard pain. I heard courage. I heard defiance at not letting this world bring him down. And I heard pleas for help. For some unknown reason to me. I started to cry. Not just a tear, but uncontrollable crying. Now I want you to know that I was in middle school. When you are in middle school, all you want to do is keep this mask of being tough up, especially me, but here I was, crying. I couldn't help it. I then realized, you DON'T become a doctor for yourself, or because of family legacy. You need to become a doctor to help other people. That's where I changed my choice at what kind of doctor I wanted to be. I'm not sure what I want to do now, but I know I'm going to make a difference. It's not about me, or money. It's about spreading the message I heard in THE GUY's voice that day. Since then, I've had the gift of hearing emotion and more in people's voice then they know. I can hear what makes people sad, or what makes them happy. It's sort of a curse, because I sometimes don't know what to say at the moment I hear it, but I do have faith that I have that gift for a reason. I guess there are some people that THE GUY's voice was God talking to me. I don't know about that. I know that if you are willing to listen to those around you, I mean truly listen, you never know what you might hear. Now, I don't want anyone to think, I'm pulling a John Lennon here and comparing myself to Jesus, but like I said in earlier post. Jesus was sent here to lay a path for us to follow, whether you know it or not, you are following it yourself. You know I never told you what Jesus did because of the sorrow that Jesus felt on behalf of Martha and Mary. He raised Lazarus. He raised a man from the dead. I think I can do something to make the world a better place. Now I pose a question to you: What makes you weep? What are you going to do about it?

P.S. - this blog is supposed to be just social commentary. Not strictly religious thoughts. But social commentary is hard. You know those writers in the media actually do have a job.

P.S.S. - This is my last entry until I get my laptop.